It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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