Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
