Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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