Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
