Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
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I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
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So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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