yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
