how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
