Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
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I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
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Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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