Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
