you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
They took my balls.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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