loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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