Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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