That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
