I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
