i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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