How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
