Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
