ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
