She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
