I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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