Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
