I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
