If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
