I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
