Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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