do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
