Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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