the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
