so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
