I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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