then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
