You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
