I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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