Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
