i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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