I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
