so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
