she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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