I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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