mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
