If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
