I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
