Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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