..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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