He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
