he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
