It's just like the Real World with babies
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize