just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
