Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
