That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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