who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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