he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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