If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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