She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
