What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This baby is an asshole
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
