fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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