he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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