The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
