I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
