I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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