She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
then he tried to convert me to islam
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
