we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
