i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
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i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
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for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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