I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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