Redeem this text for a blowjob
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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