you guys were way drunker than both of me
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
