i permit you to call me
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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